.

I got on my knees tonight, completely broken.

I did this after leaving church, driving past our exit, driving and driving some more.

And crying.

I drove until all three kids fell asleep and after I used up all the Kleenex's in the box.

I poured out my soul on our little office floor, 

leaning against the cushy chair that has followed us around during the past 11 1/2 years of military life.

He knows that I'm angry about some things.

He knows I'm sad.

He knows I'm tired.

He knows I'm stretched to the max.

He knows that I'm tired of sleeping alone.

He knows that I miss my best friend and his hugs.

He also knows that my heart yearns for something more.

To make a difference, to serve, to be a part of something bigger than myself.